martinj Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Iz dnevnika partizanskog komandanta:- Dan prvi. Opsedamo kotu 259. Krenemo u juris i oteramo Nemce.- Dan drugi. Nemci krenuli u juris. Nasi momci su se hrabro borili,ali morali smo da se povucemo.- Dan treci. Ponovo jurisamo na kotu 259. Nasi momci su heroji.Ponovo smo osvojili kotu.- Dan cetvrti. Nemcima je stiglo pojacanje. Ponovo jurisaju iosvajaju kotu 259.- Dan peti. Dosao sumar i oterao i nas i Nemce. Quote Link to comment
martinj Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 Odseo covek u hotelu u Crnoj Gori i narucio budjenje u 7.30 ujutro.Zvoni telefon ujutro i javlja se recepcija:R: - "Halo, jel ste vi narucili budjenje u 7.30?"G: - "Jesam."R: - "A sto ne ustajes jado, vec je pola jedanaest!" Quote Link to comment
KristinaS Posted January 29, 2008 Share Posted January 29, 2008 U autobusu sedi baba naspram momka koji žvaće žvaku. Gleda ona njega, gleda, i tek posle nekog vremena kaže:''Sinko, moraćeš glasnije, nagluva sam malo.'' Quote Link to comment
ion Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Bogamu, Kristina pogledaj makar poslednje dve-tri strane pre postovanja.(Vic je bio na prošloj) Quote Link to comment
KristinaS Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 Bogamu, Kristina pogledaj makar poslednje dve-tri strane pre postovanja.(Vic je bio na prošloj) au sorrry Quote Link to comment
nisam ja Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 tamo ga je i prochitala Quote Link to comment
shimpr Posted January 30, 2008 Share Posted January 30, 2008 pitali siptara koje skoljke najvise voli a on kaze srednjoskoljkeidu dve dlake ulicom i jednu zgazi kamion a druga kaze uh za dlaku Quote Link to comment
JozoMujica Posted January 31, 2008 Share Posted January 31, 2008 Umre Hitler i ode kod svetog Petra. On mu kaže:- Mnogo si zla učinio, ideš u pakao.Na to će Hitler:- Ma važi, nema problema, samo me pusti još mesec dana nazad, imam neka nezavršena posla.- Kakva nezavršena posla?- Pa treba da ubijem još jedno pola miliona Jevreja i jednog Danca.- što sad jednog Danca? - pita ga sveti Petar- Aha, sad ni tebe nije briga za Jevreje!!! Quote Link to comment
Dankan Ajdaho Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 Zašto Borg ne želi da asimiluje Crnogorca?Ne može od njega da napravi radilicu. <_< Quote Link to comment
Šumejker-Levi 9 Posted February 2, 2008 Share Posted February 2, 2008 Haj'mo i jedan crnjak.Ulazi Toše Proeski u prodajni salon Volkswagena i i dvoumi se koji model da uzme.Kad, odgovara mu prodavac:- Ma kupi bre ovaj Tuareg, i bog da te vidi. :ph34r: Quote Link to comment
Tinman Posted February 5, 2008 Share Posted February 5, 2008 >> Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly>> despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that>> she would just kill herself and join him in death.>>>> Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she>> took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot>> herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first>> place.>> Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a>> burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to inquire as>> to just exactly where the heart would be on a woman. The doctor>> said, "Your heart would be just below your left breast". >>>> >> Later that night........ Mildred was admitted to the hospital>> with a gunshot wound to her knee. Quote Link to comment
micke Posted February 16, 2008 Share Posted February 16, 2008 Pod utiskom predposlednjeg...Koja ja Tošetova poslednja ploča? NADGROBNA Quote Link to comment
Šumejker-Levi 9 Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 šta je to Apsolutno Poverenje?Kad dva ljudoždera upražnjavaju oralni sex. Quote Link to comment
eye of the beholder Posted February 18, 2008 Share Posted February 18, 2008 (edited) Republika Srbija danas ima 6.437.460 stanovnika: Od toga je oko 2.200.000 penzionera. Ostaje, dakle, 4.237.460 stanovnika, koji moraju da obavljaju sve poslove. Ako odbijemo 1.450.000 dece i ucenika, te oko 450.000 studenata, ostaje 2.337.460. Tu je jos 650.000 nezaposlenih i oko 1.600.000 sluzbenika, koji jedva nesto rade. Ostaje, dakle, 87.460 ljudi: 70.000 ih je na sluzbi u vojsci, a 17.458 ih se nalazi u zatvorima. Prema tome, ostaju samo 2 (dva) siromaha, koji moraju da rade sav posao: TI i JA. A sta ti radis? - Sedis pred kompjuterom i citas zezalice?! Nije onda ni cudo sto sam JA jedini, koji nesto u ovoj drzavi radi ! Edited February 18, 2008 by eye of the beholder Quote Link to comment
eye of the beholder Posted February 21, 2008 Share Posted February 21, 2008 Muskarac ulazi s prelepom, mladom zenom u zlataru i zajedno odaberudragulja i drugog nakita u vrednosti vecoj od 5.000 eura. Kad je trebalo platiti, muskarac je izvadio cek i upisao ukupnu sumu. Prodavac je biozbunjen i nepoverljiv jer coveka prvi put u zivotu vidi. Ovaj je opazio prodavcevo dvoumljenje, pa mu rece: "Brine Vas ima li cek pokrice?U redu, ovako cemo: Buduci da je danas subota uvece i vec su sve banke zatvorene, zadrzite cek i nakit doponedeljka. U ponedeljak, nakon sto unovcite cek, posaljite dragulje gospodjici!Slazete li se? " Prodavac se slozio. U ponedeljak, kad je ubanci hteo unovciti cek, otkrio je da cek ipak nema pokrice. Istog trena je nazvao gospodina, a ovaj mu odvrati:"Cek slobodno bacite! Vec sam je povalio!!!" 1 Quote Link to comment
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