Vicovi

[ordi]

i ja sam duh sa plavim okom

[Lancia]

i ja sam duh sa plavim okom

[urkozamanje]

i ja sam duh sa plavim okom

 

Aaaaa sta to bese, sta to bese?!

[kud u maglu Simoviću]

zašto deda mraz nosi metar?

 

 

merry christmas

 

[ljakse]

nije tako

[kud u maglu Simoviću]

butj

+1

[Zli Gli]

Zebra tebra i meri krismas 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JozoMujica]

[Čutura]

 

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

[Čutura]

 

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

"Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of us are blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

[Čutura]

 

Policeman on a horse says to little girl on a bike "did santa get you that?" Yes " replies the little girl.  Policeman then says "well tell santa to put a reflector on it next year" and fined her $5. 

The little girl looked up at the policeman and said "nice horse you've got there - did santa bring you that?"  The policeman chuckles and repiles "he sure did!" Well," said the little girl "next year tell santa the fuck'in dick goes under the horse and not on top if it!

[Zli Gli]

Meni odlicna sva tri :D

[hoffnung]

pijani tip se nabacuje ribi:

 

- aa, kako se zoveš?

- Vesna..

- kako bre ne znaš?

 

:D 

[Reaktor]

[Bujodrag]

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