Tenis-humor

[bigvlada]

Trudite se da bude civilizovano, pljuvanje nekoga koje potrošio 10+ godina da bi postao profesionalac zato što igra loše je u najmanju ruku glupo. Ne mogu svi biti najbolji. Elem, posle ovog ranta, crni humor je dozvoljen u neograničenim količinama. :D Prebaciću svoja dva posta za početak. ATP ANNOUNCES 'ANYONE BUT DJOKOVIC BRIGADE'!Following the relative success of the 'Nadal is a boring baseline moonballer' and 'Federer is a shanker with a rubbish backhand' brigades, the ATP has announced that, in honour of the fact Novak Djokovic has actually won a lot of stuff as well, a hate group shall be created in his honour. The name has yet to be decided, but the manifesto of the group has already been decided:Spoiler 1. The ATP are changing the courts to favour Djokovic A firm favourite of the Nadal slaters, it has recently been considered that Madrid is in fact not a clay court. It is at high altitude, and as all physics experts will tell you, clay at high altitude morphs. This can mean only one thing: Madrid is a red hard-court. Serbian groundsmen are also being blamed for casting dark magics and performing rituals on the previously clay courts at midnight to complete the transformation, which of course gives no-one else a chance to win. 2. The other players are bringing the wrong game to Djokovic A new, original policy is to slate Djokovic because his opponent 'brought the wrong game' to him. Djokovic's most recent success in Madrid was corrupted by the fact that Nadal, amongst others, had brought their hard court game to Djokovic, forgetting, at no fault of their own, to bring their clay court game with them to a clay court! How silly of them, silly players! But we can't blame them, oh no, that wouldn't make sense. It is worth pointing out that Djokovic's Australian Open success shall be branded a failure too, as he did after all face Roger Federer, who'd brought his 'Grass court at altitude roughly 1,547m above sea level datum, with the occasional rough patch of soil in the corners of the service box' game with him instead of his Aussie Open court game. 3. Novak's only winning because it is a weak era A favourite of all hate groups. Blame the weak era. The era was strong before Djokovic started winning, but when he did start, it is fairly clear that players suddenly started being really rubbish. Much of this is likely to be down to Policy 2, however, it is worth noting that players simply aren't winning as much these days. Of course, this may be because Novak is winning everything, so other people can't logically win as much as they did last year is the clearest indicator of all that the standard has dropped a huge amount. We pine for the strong, golden lion of greatness era, albeit we can't actually remember which one it is. 4. Novak's Dad is fixing the draw Perennial draw fixer Uncle Toni has been knocked of his perch by the man known simply as Djokovic senior. The draw for Rome, where Djokovic faces clay court big guns Jurgen Melzer, Robin Soderling, Nicolas Almagro, and the Italians nationals well known for performing miracles at their home tournament players of an equivalent level to 5 year olds. Hell, I could beat his draw, cakewalking fluke merchant. His winning streak will clearly continue because of his easy, easy draw, where he will still probably have to beat Nadal or Federer in the final probably face a wildcard. It's like a lion taking on a herd of rabbits in a fight. Although of course this era is weak, so Djokovic is no lion. 5. When his winning streak ends, he will lose it all OK, maybe he's doing alright, though clearly his wins are mostly worthless right now due to the above. But what happens when it ends? Then IT'S ALL OVER FOR HIM. His confidence shattered by the knowledge he has had a win streak that will last throughout the ages as one of the finest starts to a season witnessed, let alone the trophies and glory brought to him a single, excrutiating loss will inevitably destroy his mind, as it does with everyone who loses after winning a lot (see Federer, Nadal, Sampras, Agassi, Borg....), and his challenge to the top will fade away , despite the fact he's already got a spot in the World Tour Finals this year and can be World Number 1 by making semi-finals for the rest of the year. He will never be number 1, and if does, then he is a transitional number 1. That's not a real Number 1, despite what the rankings say. The ATP has a great deal of faith that the group will succeed as the other hate groups have done in the past. Recruitment begins now

[bigvlada]

Ovo je iz 2009Kako je Gaske proslavio pobedu nad Federerom.

 

slika je ipak iz 2009. :P

[bigvlada]

*** STOP PRESS ***EMERGENCY CONVENING OF RSVP COMMITTEEAfter careful consideration the RSVP (Rome Specially-Convened Virtual Points) Committee has been forced to respond after an unprecedentedly one-sided final compared to the victor's semi-final struggle with Mr Murray. As ever, the virtual ranking system only kicks in when it is obvious to the tennis world that a losing semi-finalist would have vanquished the losing finalist from the opposite half of the draw with ease.Factors taken into account are as follows:1. the failure of Mr Nadal to win a set2. the fact that all journalists are agreed Mr Nadal was second-rate, whereas in sections of the semi-final, a victory for Mr Murray seemed possible.HEREBY APPROVED:1. demotion of Mr Nadal to virtual losing semi-finalist in disgrace2. promotion of Mr Murray to heroic defeated virtual finalist with fighting qualities...........Chair, RSVP15 May 2011

[bigvlada]

! I M P O R T A N T ! Read first.Before you click on post please make sure you choose a subtitle from the list bellow which are based on yesterdays comments after the match between ND vs AM! Having a appropriate subtitle will spare many of us true tennis fans of reading tonnes of rubbish. Thank you for your cooperation. 1. True tennis fans 2. Nadal defence team 3. 19th Century Balkan people 4. Will see in 5 set match (5 what!) 5. Lost in space 6. Djoker for president (of Serbia)

[deeps]

Sa MTF-a http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2GB-HpEp_E&feature=player_embedded

[bigvlada]

Komentari posle RimaTo parphrase a great Boby Jones, the only golfer ever to win GS: "Tennis is a game played on the 6 inch big court. The distance between your ears."Holy shit. It's time McEnroe booked his ticket for Paris. And bring the voodoo doll So many moonballs by Nadal. No wonder it started raining. That was the oceans crashing against their banks, pulled by the gravity of some of those Nadal shots :lol:

[Dionysos]

http://andymurrayometer.com/

[anantaram]

Rafin email Atp-u posle Madrida.Dear ATP,Rafa don't like tennis anymore. What is this new rule? Before, you give Rafa trophy to bite after Rafa beat Old Guy. But now, after Rafa beat Old Guy you say Rafa must beat Young Kid too, to get trophy. Rafa don't like this.Uncle Toni secret tactic to beat Old Guy don't work against Young Kid. Giving high ball to his left side don't give Rafa points like against Old Guy, it give Rafa headache. Young Kid is taking Rafa's trophies away.This is ultimatum. If Rafa don't get trophies, Rafa will play no more. Make Young Kid understand that Rafa is #1 king of tennis. Or just make it like before, Rafa beat Old Guy, Rafa get trophy to bite. That's all Rafa ask. Please make this happen.Sincerely, Rafa.[sa mtf-a]

Edited May 20, 2011 by anantaram

[bigvlada]

Nadalova faca posle finala: neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeŠarapova: Jel ti to mene imitiraš? Kako bi izgledao reket da ga dizajnira tatko

[bigvlada]

pošto su se valjda završila ritualna samospaljivanja diljem nam države i na forumu, nadam se da ćemo moći da nastavimo o tenisu. Bolje i izgubiti nego biti ovekovečen ovako

[Dionysos]

[Serpentina]

Uncle Toni Nadal Edited July 4, 2011 by Serpentina

[Čutura]

Uncle Miguel Ángel Nadal

[Mil@n]

:Dhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCnWYPfhaTI&feature=related

Edited July 11, 2011 by Glas RazumaN

[Mil@n]

Evo, uspeh da nađem i ovo http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KdzqW_7--1M&feature=related