bigvlada Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Trudite se da bude civilizovano, pljuvanje nekoga koje potrošio 10+ godina da bi postao profesionalac zato što igra loše je u najmanju ruku glupo. Ne mogu svi biti najbolji. Elem, posle ovog ranta, crni humor je dozvoljen u neograničenim količinama. :D Prebaciću svoja dva posta za početak. ATP ANNOUNCES 'ANYONE BUT DJOKOVIC BRIGADE'!Following the relative success of the 'Nadal is a boring baseline moonballer' and 'Federer is a shanker with a rubbish backhand' brigades, the ATP has announced that, in honour of the fact Novak Djokovic has actually won a lot of stuff as well, a hate group shall be created in his honour. The name has yet to be decided, but the manifesto of the group has already been decided:Spoiler 1. The ATP are changing the courts to favour Djokovic A firm favourite of the Nadal slaters, it has recently been considered that Madrid is in fact not a clay court. It is at high altitude, and as all physics experts will tell you, clay at high altitude morphs. This can mean only one thing: Madrid is a red hard-court. Serbian groundsmen are also being blamed for casting dark magics and performing rituals on the previously clay courts at midnight to complete the transformation, which of course gives no-one else a chance to win. 2. The other players are bringing the wrong game to Djokovic A new, original policy is to slate Djokovic because his opponent 'brought the wrong game' to him. Djokovic's most recent success in Madrid was corrupted by the fact that Nadal, amongst others, had brought their hard court game to Djokovic, forgetting, at no fault of their own, to bring their clay court game with them to a clay court! How silly of them, silly players! But we can't blame them, oh no, that wouldn't make sense. It is worth pointing out that Djokovic's Australian Open success shall be branded a failure too, as he did after all face Roger Federer, who'd brought his 'Grass court at altitude roughly 1,547m above sea level datum, with the occasional rough patch of soil in the corners of the service box' game with him instead of his Aussie Open court game. 3. Novak's only winning because it is a weak era A favourite of all hate groups. Blame the weak era. The era was strong before Djokovic started winning, but when he did start, it is fairly clear that players suddenly started being really rubbish. Much of this is likely to be down to Policy 2, however, it is worth noting that players simply aren't winning as much these days. Of course, this may be because Novak is winning everything, so other people can't logically win as much as they did last year is the clearest indicator of all that the standard has dropped a huge amount. We pine for the strong, golden lion of greatness era, albeit we can't actually remember which one it is. 4. Novak's Dad is fixing the draw Perennial draw fixer Uncle Toni has been knocked of his perch by the man known simply as Djokovic senior. The draw for Rome, where Djokovic faces clay court big guns Jurgen Melzer, Robin Soderling, Nicolas Almagro, and the Italians nationals well known for performing miracles at their home tournament players of an equivalent level to 5 year olds. Hell, I could beat his draw, cakewalking fluke merchant. His winning streak will clearly continue because of his easy, easy draw, where he will still probably have to beat Nadal or Federer in the final probably face a wildcard. It's like a lion taking on a herd of rabbits in a fight. Although of course this era is weak, so Djokovic is no lion. 5. When his winning streak ends, he will lose it all OK, maybe he's doing alright, though clearly his wins are mostly worthless right now due to the above. But what happens when it ends? Then IT'S ALL OVER FOR HIM. His confidence shattered by the knowledge he has had a win streak that will last throughout the ages as one of the finest starts to a season witnessed, let alone the trophies and glory brought to him a single, excrutiating loss will inevitably destroy his mind, as it does with everyone who loses after winning a lot (see Federer, Nadal, Sampras, Agassi, Borg....), and his challenge to the top will fade away , despite the fact he's already got a spot in the World Tour Finals this year and can be World Number 1 by making semi-finals for the rest of the year. He will never be number 1, and if does, then he is a transitional number 1. That's not a real Number 1, despite what the rankings say. The ATP has a great deal of faith that the group will succeed as the other hate groups have done in the past. Recruitment begins now Quote Link to comment
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