Vicovi

[Ajant23]

Igra penis oko vagine pristojnu predigru četrdeset pet minuta, ali je ne ubada. Vagina se već smorila i pita: "Što me više ne probodeš kada imaš sjajnu tehniku? Vidiš da sam već jednom napala nogu stopalom druge i jednom ruku potegla da bih se makar sama zadovoljila?". Penis joj odgovori da joj se ona baš toliko i ne dopada da bi je penetrirao, ali da će to najzad uraditi. Doduše:

 

Spoiler

"Ne više od tri puta."

 

[Sandens]

[Ajant23]

Rekla vagina jednom od penisa da ju je penetrirao isuviše lepo i da prezire sve višestruke penetracije, kao i to što se one više računaju, ma koliko ružne bile. Taj penis joj odgovori da je:

 

Spoiler

Rasista!

 

 

Edited June 14, 2021 by Ajant23

[Ajant23]

Kružio penis oko vagine i kružio toliko da ga je i ona par puta pojurila do svega na pet metara, ali se smela među nogama i nije bilo ništa. Prošlo skoro dva sata i penis prekinuo i krenuo svojim putem. Na to ga vagina zbunjeno pogleda i upita: "What the fuck?" Penis joj na to samo odbrusi:

 

Spoiler

"This Ain't Goal! (2005)"

 

[Ajant23]

Reče penis vagini: "Baš volim što si toliko uska i što me toliko udaraš u glavu!"

[Lancia]

 

[borris_]

Hvala Lancia pa si prekinuo ovaj niz Ajanta.

[Ajant23]

Pitala vagina penis zašto se toliko dugo ponašao kao da je u pitanju rat koji će okončati sve ratove, a penis joj odgovori:

 

Spoiler

- Čekao sam da napunim osamnaest (puta pet forumskih poena), pa da mogu odgovorno da se opredelim za stranu....

 

[Moća]

Ovde ni @Caligula ne pomaze.

Sent from my Redmi Note 5 using Tapatalk

[Ajant23]

Pitala vagina penis zašto nije smešan, a penis joj odgovorio:

 

Spoiler

- Video sam koliki je račun...

 

[namenski]

Pitala vagina penis koji mu je kurac ovoh dana, a on joj tuznim glasom odgovori:

Spoiler

- Ne dize mi se, pa pokusavam da drkam...

 

[Filozof manijak]

Pitala vagina Ajanta zašto, zaimesveta, priča nesmešne vicOve, a Ajant se ljutito brecnu na nju (momentalno joj izazvavši promenu sekreta na kategoriju iznad):

 

Spoiler

Jer!

 

[Gojko & Stojko]

 

Ajant, an Ostrich, and a Cat, Walk Into a Bar...

 

The bartender, used to these sorts of jokes, lets it slide. "What'll you have?" he asks the trio.

 

"I'll have a pint," Ajant says. "Just a Coke for me," says the ostrich. "I'll have a scotch," the cat says. He looks at Ajant, "so long as you're buying."

 

"Right," the bartender says, "that'll be $12.75."

 

Ajant nods, and reaches into his pocket. He pulls out exactly $12.75 without counting it, and then another $1.55 for tip. He and his animals go find a table.

 

Later, the three return to the bar. They order a cider, a Ginger Ale, and another scotch, that again the cat isn't paying for. The bartender declares it to be $13.50, and Ajant pulls that from his pocket without looking at it, and then drops $1.65 for tip.

 

This goes on for a few rounds, with the bartender naming the price, and Ajant not even counting his money. Talking animals is one thing, the bartender thought, but this... this is new.

 

"Right then," the bartender says as Ajant pays for another round of drinks. "How are you doing that? With the money that is."

 

Ajant nods. He's a bit drunk, and feeling talkative anyways. "So, this one time," he begins, "I went to a local discount store."

 

"Now, in this store, I find a lamp. Bit dented, bit dirty, but it's a buck and I figure I'll take it. I bring it home, go to clean it up, and sure enough, out pops a genie!"

 

Ajant gives pause for the dramatic effect, but again, the bartender is used to this sort of thing, and waits patiently for the punchline. "Right," Ajant continues, "so this genie, he offers me two wishes..."

 

"Only two?" the bartender questioned.

 

"It was a discount genie," Ajant explained.

 

"Go on."

 

"So, for my first wish, I wished to be able to always reach into my front pocket, and pull out exactly whatever money I need to buy whatever I want." Ajant shrugged. "Be it a pint or a car or a house, I will always have exactly that much money in my pocket."

 

"Well, that's smart," the bartender noted. "Most folks would wish for a million dollars, or what have you. You? You're set for life." The bartender pulled Ajant another pint, since obviously he could afford it. "That's very smart; you're a smart man."

 

"Well, yeah, I thought so at first, but then I made my second wish."

 

"Really? And what was that?" The bartender asked.

 

Ajant nodded towards his companions. "For my second wish, I wished for a bird with long legs, and a tight pussy."

Share & Enjoy

 

[Ajant23]

Pitala vagina penis zašto se vratio kada je znao da je nezdravo ovde i da li je barem korigovao svoja razmišljanja po pitanju smrada kakav očito nije više...

[Gojko & Stojko]

 

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink and looks around. He sees a large group of men standing around a donkey. Curious, the man asks the bar tender:

"Hey bar keep, what's happening over there?"

 

The bartender points at a jar that's filled to the brim with cash, and says:

"The donkey is a sad donkey, he is never happy, never laughs just mopes. The challenge is if you can make him laugh you can take all the cash in the jar... otherwise you've got to put in $10."

 

Intrigued, the man finishes his drink, walks up to the donkey and whispers in his ear... all of a sudden the donkey is laughing hysterically. The man walks up to the bar, grabs the jar full of cash and leaves (exits stage left).

 

A year passes by, and the man returns to the bar, as soon as he walks in, he notices the jar is full of money again. The bartender recognises him and says:

"This donkey won't stop laughing... if you can make him sad again you can take this jar full of cash"

 

The man again walks up to the donkey and whispers in his ear then turns to an angle that only the donkey could see. All of a sudden the donkey stops laughing and begins to cry.

 

Stunned, the bartender hands over the jar full of cash... but then says:

"I'll give you an extra $1000 if you tell me how you did it!"

 

The man smiles and says: "Well... the first time, I told the donkey I had a bigger dick than he had, and the second time... well I showed him."

 

Share & Enjoy